There are things I’ve avoided saying out loud for years, partly out of fear, partly out of exhaustion, and partly out of not knowing how to say it in a way people would actually hear.
But I’ve reached a point where I can’t afford to keep quiet. Not when the conversation about autism is being hijacked by bad science, political opportunism, and dangerous assumptions.
So let’s start with something I need to say:
My son Stone is not broken.
He is not “disordered.” He is not “delayed.” And he is not in need of “fixing.”
Stone is a non-speaking autistic teen with apraxia. And if you’ve never heard the word apraxia, that’s part of the problem. It’s one of the most misunderstood and underdiagnosed neurological conditions in the world, especially in autistic individuals.
But before we get into that, let’s talk about what’s happening right now.
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The Dangerous Drift
On April 16, 2025, the Secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., stood at a podium and unleashed a wave of rhetoric that shook the autism community to its core. He didn’t offer compassion. He didn’t offer solutions. What he offered was a familiar toxin: ableism dressed up as concern.
“Autism destroys families,” he said. “These are kids who will never write a poem, go on a date, or use a toilet.”
That statement says far more about him than it does about autistic people.
My son Stone is autistic. He’s also non-speaking. And he’s written poetry. He’s shared profound thoughts. He’s taught me more about life than any politician ever could. If you think his life is less worthy because he communicates differently, you’re not just wrong. You’re dangerous.
I was once an admirer of RFK Jr. I respected much of the work he was doing a decade ago, and like many parents, I’ve asked hard questions about what could be contributing to the rise in autism diagnoses. I’ve read the studies, seen the CDC numbers tick upward year after year, and I’ve asked: What’s really going on here?
I believe in science. But believing in science also means being willing to admit when science has been wrong, or incomplete. Vaccine injuries do happen. There’s a federal court that exists because of it. And autism, as a diagnostic label, has become so broad that it now includes a vast and diverse population, many of whom have different root causes, needs, and trajectories.
For my son Stone, autism isn’t the biggest challenge: it’s apraxia. The brain-body disconnect. That’s what makes life harder for him. And when Stone spelled out, “It’s not the autism I mind, I hate the apraxia,” I felt the clarity of that truth. Learn more about apraxia here and here.
So yes, when I heard RFK Jr.’s comments, I understood why some families felt seen. I’ve been in those moments—angry, overwhelmed, and desperate for answers. I know what it feels like to believe no one in power is listening. And I’ve watched far too many families be forced to rely on a disjointed patchwork of nonprofits, state programs, and online support groups to simply survive.
But here’s the problem: even if RFK Jr. meant well, he got the message wrong.
His press conference didn’t illuminate the struggles of profoundly impacted families. It erased the agency and achievements of people like Stone. It ignored the breakthroughs happening in the non-speaking community, where autistic individuals are writing books, performing poetry, and attending college.
And it painted the entire spectrum with a single, devastating brush.
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Autism Isn’t the Tragedy. Ableism Is.
The language RFK Jr. used wasn’t neutral. It wasn’t medical. It was an indictment.
It painted autistic people as non-contributors, burdens, and lost causes. And it suggested that unless someone produces in a way that society values, with jobs, taxes, and romantic milestones, their life doesn’t matter.
That’s not science. That’s erasure.
When you tell the world that autistic kids will never love, work, or create, you’re not protecting them. You’re erasing them.
This mindset isn’t new. Throughout history, autistic individuals and their families have been subjected to systemic erasure, forced institutionalization, abusive therapies, and coercive interventions rooted in control, not care. We’re now watching those ideologies rebrand themselves under language like “data integration,” “disease surveillance,” and “public health threat.”
Framing autism as a disease is not science. It’s ableism with a spreadsheet.
And the idea that our children, like my son Stone, should be tracked like potential outbreaks is one of the most dangerous things I’ve seen in my 17 years of parenting.
Especially when that language is coming from someone who doesn’t believe kids like mine will ever contribute to society.
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It Isn’t Autism. It’s Apraxia.
Here’s where the conversation has to shift.
Because what we’re calling “autism” in so many of these cases… isn’t.
Stone isn’t behaviorally autistic. He’s not delayed in cognition, awareness, or social desire.
He’s locked inside a body that doesn’t cooperate with his brain.
That’s apraxia.
And it’s time to say that out loud.
If you looked at Stone without knowing his story, you might assume what most people have assumed for years: that he is intellectually disabled, that he doesn’t understand what’s happening around him, that he needs ABA therapy to be “trained” into functionality.
But if you spend even ten minutes listening to what he can express through supported communication—through letterboards, keyboards, and spelling partners—you’ll come away shaken.
Because he’s brilliant.
Because he’s aware.
Because he’s funny and observant and sharp and philosophical.
And because everything we thought we knew about “autism” in kids like Stone starts to fall apart the moment we stop trying to fix the behaviors and start presuming competence.
Apraxia is a motor-planning disability.
Not a cognitive one.
And the fact that we’re labeling it “severe autism” because the person doesn’t speak or make eye contact or follow directions on command? That’s not a diagnosis. That’s a failure of imagination.
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What If the Real Crisis Isn’t Autism?
Let’s ask a better question:
“Is autism really what destroys families, or is it the lack of support?” —My son Stone
When Stone spelled that out during a conversation, I felt it in my bones. He wasn’t offended. He was precise. The real issue is not autism. It’s the absence of regulation tools, educational inclusion, and reliable caregivers.
Autistic kids don’t need to be saved from themselves.
They need to be understood, supported, and seen.
And we need to stop confusing correlation with causation. I know families whose kids developed seizure disorders before they received an autism diagnosis and others whose seizures led to a diagnosis. These are complex cases, and yet our diagnostic system flattens everything under a single umbrella: autism.
That brings me to Dr. Elizabeth Torres. Explore her work here and in this study.
Dr. Torres, a respected Rutgers University neuroscientist, has written extensively about the broken diagnostic pipeline in autism. She argues that we rely far too heavily on behavioral checklists, tools that inflate false positives and benefit the behavioral therapy industry. Instead, she advocates for precision diagnostics informed by neuroscience, genomics, and engineering. Real science, not rhetoric.
“The man has good intentions but is being fed lies.” —Dr. Elizabeth Torres
Dr. Torres believes that the broadening of the autism label has created confusion and internal division, especially between families with very different needs and experiences. Her call to action? Stop shouting. Start demanding better science.
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The Dangerous Myth of Autism Prevention
To claim that all autism is “preventable” is more than misinformation.
It’s an echo of the darkest parts of our history.
RFK Jr. points to pesticides, pharmaceuticals, and additives, and while I don’t agree with everything he says, I do think it’s time we take a serious look at the cumulative environmental burden we’re placing on our children. The world today is far more toxic than it was when we were growing up in the 1960s and ’70s, even with increased regulation.
And let’s be honest here: his boss is doing everything he can to dismantle those protections. I don’t think there’s a singular cause of autism, but I do believe we’re seeing a combination of genetic conditions and environmental triggers that deserve deeper, science-driven investigation.
Let’s be honest: this isn’t about discovery. It’s about deflection.
When you make autism the enemy, you can justify almost anything.
And when you frame an autistic child as a tragedy, what are you really saying to them?
That they ruined your dreams?
That they are broken?
That they shouldn’t exist?
This isn’t love.
It’s conditional tolerance disguised as care.
In response to Kennedy’s rhetoric, several of the nation’s leading autism organizations came together to issue a unified statement pushing back against misinformation and ableist framing. Their joint statement reaffirmed a critical truth:
“Autism is not a disease to be eradicated. Autistic people are not ‘preventable tragedies.’ We are family members, friends, coworkers, artists, activists, and community leaders.”
You can read their full response here: Leading Autism Organizations Release Joint Statement
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What We Really Need
What most autistic individuals want is not a miracle cure. It’s access:
- To be taught in ways their bodies and brains understand
- To regulate without punishment
- To be spoken to with respect, not pity
- To have their intelligence presumed even when their mouths won’t move
These are not unreasonable requests.
They’re basic human rights.
We don’t need a task force built on fear. We need community built on belief.
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The Call
If you’re reading this, you already care. But this is the moment to go deeper.
Share stories. Speak up. Call out ableism when it hides behind headlines and press conferences.
Support organizations that actually help autistic individuals thrive, not ones that try to erase them.
If you’re a parent: advocate.
If you’re a professional: listen.
If you’re autistic: we see you, and we are not backing down.
Let’s make one thing clear:
Autism doesn’t destroy families.
But ableism, misinformation, and erasure do.
Let’s stop trying to prevent autism.
And start trying to prevent dehumanization.
“YES I DON’T MIND THE AUTISM BUT I HATE THE APRAXIA.”
